Sweet Revenge

On the previous post I told the story about when my traveling partner, whose name I don’t want to mention, dumped snow on me while I was trying to work through some personal problems. Well I just want to take a few minutes to tell you about what I did to get back at the traveling partner who we will just call Bubba M. to protect his identity.

As we were driving somewhere up there in the snowy winter wasteland of black ice and slick roads, we came across a one vehicle car accident in which the driver lost control and somehow turned his car up on its side. That’s right it was balancing on the passenger side right there on the side of the road. The man driving it was standing there shivering but surprisingly calm we pulled over to render aide and ask if he needed help. He asked if we had a “Car Phone” (thats what they were called them back then) “Nawh, but we can give you a ride” says us. He agreed but while he went back to his inverted car we had the idea to “Help” the guy out and save him some money but flipping his car back over for him. Who needs a wrecker when you have a couple of wild bareback riders. We explained the plan to the somewhat apprehensive business man who was no doubt an accountant or something like that, you could plainly see he thought it was a bad idea and didn’t want to proceed but he lacked the assertiveness required to dissuade a couple of rambunctious cowboys from Texas. I got set to push on the hood and he got ready to push on the trunk. We began to rock it back and forth until it reached the tipping point and fell back to its proper position. At first we were proud of our accomplishment but there was some good news and some bad news. The good news was that when the guy flipped his car onto its side it was relatively undamaged, the bad news was that when we flipped it back it sustained a good bit of damage. Apparently the car slammed down so hard that the shocks and struts busted through the wheel wells and left the car mangled. It was quite an awkward silence between us and the seemingly distraught traveler, the light of a wrecker pulling up was quite a nice sight, and we took the distraction as an opportunity to skedaddle.

So after all this we were quite aware of the dangerous of icy roads. I had a very funny, hard to describe feeling about the roads, they kinda scared me but I kinda liked the excitement of it. I know my haulin partner was so nervous he couldn't relax enough to catch a nap even though he was really tired. He would dose off for 1 to 2 minutes then jump up startled and look around to see if we were still alive then dose back off, then repeat. This went on for about 30 minutes then I came up with a plan. I saw a big rest stop up ahead. It had a HUGE parking lot for sleepy truck drivers to park in to catch a quick siesta. This parking lot was really big and for some reason really empty, I bet this thing was a half a mile long and a couple hundred yards wide. This is where I would get my payback. My fretful companion had finally managed to conquer his fear long enough that he had been asleep for about 15 minutes without waking up to check to see if we were still alive.

As I started to get set up on the northwest corner of the parking lot that was like a vast frozen, flat, snow covered, concrete slip-n-slide for vehicles, I smiled as I thought about the irony in the fact that my payback was in a rest stop just like the offense which I was avenging.

After a quick scan to make sure there were no popo’s (police officers) in the vicinity. I floored it! I was gaining speed like Marty McFly in Back to the Future trying to hit 88mph. When I was about halfway across the parking lot the speedometer was nearing 60mph. As per my plan I simultaneously screamed as loud as I could and fully applied the parking brake. As you can imagine we did spin. This, to say the least, rocked his world. This man shot up from his seat only to be grabbed in mid air by the phenomenon know as centrifugal force which without hesitation applied his screaming face to the glass of the passenger window. The screaming was like that of a slumber party of 10 year old girls with a frog in the bed, and it lasted duration of the spin which went of for what seemed like hours. It was such sweet revenge!